


Tony Hated Peter but he also loved him

by username_doctor



Series: I hate you... I love you [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/username_doctor/pseuds/username_doctor
Summary: Tony hated PeterTony loved PeterTony hated himself





	Tony Hated Peter but he also loved him

**Author's Note:**

> Tony's Pov on his relationship with Peter  
> Enjoy!

Tony Stark the Genius,Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist was reduced to nothing but inappropriate thoughts and stupid, impulsive actions around Peter Parker the 15 year old he was supposed to be mentoring. Tony didn't even think he could be called the boys mentor anymore he had crossed that line when he touched Peter and felt him shiver under his touch. Tony knew that what he felt was wrong but he couldn't help he was drawn to Peter. He was an adult, a role model, someone the kid was supposed to look up to and want to be like. Not someone who was supposed to leave him trembling and gasping for breath. 

Tony hated the way the Peter made Tony feel. 

Tony loved Peter. 

And he hated himself because of it. 

He shouldn't be in love with someone who is 32 years younger than him. 

But he was and there was nothing he could do about it except push Peter away, because it was wrong and it made Tony sick. Peter should be with people his own age falling in and out of love easily, making mistakes and having fun. He shouldn't be with a man who was burdened with problems and was older than him. Peter should have all of his firsts with someone just as inexperienced as he was, not someone who had plenty of experience,not Tony. 

Tony felt sickened when he thought about how things had gone too far with Peter, Tony could be arrested. So he pushed him away. 

Tony Pretended that everything was normal, but soon Tony couldn't pretend that being that close but that far away from Peter wasn't killing him because it was. It really was.

3 weeks after they had shared that incredible intimate moment Tony only ever saw Peter to give him instructions on what to do in the lab and then he would leave. To drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. When he would speak to Peter he would use cold and harsh tones because maybe it would mean that Peter would stop loving him. If he never spoke to Peter in the soft, caring way that he normally would then Peter would realise who he thought he was in love with.  
Tony stark the man who failed at forming lasting relationships. The man who pushed people away sometimes without realising. The man with incredibly unhealthy habits. Someone who he could never be with and hopefully he would stop loving him. 

One day Happy informed Tony that Peter was going on a date and jealously burned through Tony. That was when Tony realised he was in major trouble, never matter what he did to try and get peter out of his mind or to push peter away. Tony would always love him.  
So that's why half an hour later he found Peter in his lab working on some updates for the suit that Tony wanted to make before he pushed Peter away. And as he watched Peter bite his lip in concentration, or frown when something when wrong. Tony realised he loved him and that Peter must really love him because he put Tony first when they hadn't had a full conversation in nearly a month and during that month all Tony had done was push him away and treated him awfully. 

When Peter had left the lab Tony found the nearest bottle of whiskey and drank it, focusing on getting drunk to try and block out the thoughts and feelings that Tony had for Peter. Tony had nothing to do other than think about Peter and so to distract himself he started to focus more and more on work. 

Sometimes Tony would bring a girl home, just to erase the feelings he had for Peter except it never worked it just made Tony feel sicker and for some reason he felt guilty, because not only was he using the girl he also felt like he was failing Peter. 

Tony hated Peter because he was the reason why Tony was falling back onto old, bad habits. 

It tore Tony apart not to be close to Peter anymore, he missed the kids innocence and how he would flush almost everywhere when Tony made an inappropriate suggestion. Tony missed how his god damn smile would light up the entire lab. He missed how the kid would laugh when Tony would tell him a bad joke. Or how disappointed Peter would look when he would have to leave to go to his back home. He missed how he could make Peter forget even if it was for a moment, that he was just a poor kid who just happened to be bitten by a spider and be given these amazing powers. Most of all he missed how lucky and special he would make Peter feel and Peter would make him feel the same. 

Tony hated himself because he fucking loved Peter Parker.

And there was nothing he could do about it. 

Because Peter was still a kid.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> I'm thinking of continuing this in Tony's pov right after this chapter when Peter tells him he loves him, does that sound good?  
> Please leave a comment on how I could Improve or if you had a suggestion on what else I could include in this series.


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